Race

First of all, I give praises to God for allowing me to be the person I am. Black, White, Red, Green, or Yellow no matter my race or color, I will always be ME. Many people don't think of racism...well I think about it EVERYDAY. Many people don't believe racism still exists....well I see it, at least once a month visually and everyday subliminally.

My first thought about this topic is the phrase that I hate WHITES have invented to call us instead of black or negro. I despise "African American". Don't get me wrong, I hold true to my roots and I know that my people were of dark skins and deep roots. I know that they were tribal, I know that they were traditional, I know that they were BLACK. But the main reason I don't identify with that colloquialism is because I am not from Africa. Nor is my grandmother, her mother, her mother, and so on and so forth. I am, unfortunately, a black woman who live in America. I guess that would identify me as American huh? But why African? Can anyone answer that? My phenotype? But what about my genotype?  I am not fully black, who is besides those who roots lie more closely to Africa. I feel that if your great great great GREAT grandmother or father is not from Africa, then who are you to call me African American?

This is America, the melting pot. White men were raping our slave fore-mothers, blacks were loving and marrying Native Americans....who is fully white, black, or whatever race they claim? I try not to identify with any race, mostly because I don't even know exactly all that is in my heritage. I know that my great grandmother was white, the other was Native American, and the others, for all I know were black...so am I supposed to identify with being "African" because of how I look when I know nothing about Africa and have never stepped foot there?

Lets think for a second, the first person was African. The first human being traces back from Africa, so if the first human being was African, and we all descended from other humans, would that not make every American "African American"? It makes no sense to me. I know white people, who I am sure one of their fore mothers were black....so why are they not considered "African American"? Because of how they look? I thought if you had even ONE drop of black blood you were black....funny how it changes when you appear to be something totally different.

In my eyes, the term "African American" is just another term white people invented to label us. To limit us, and it kills me that so many hold it with pride without even having a clue as to what their descendants look like. I have no problem with Africa or Africans, even though majority have a problem with us. I just don't appreciate the reasoning behind giving us blacks another name without a justifiable reason. Because of how I look? What about my roots? Can you know those just by looking at me? I'm BLACK. I'm not African.

Now racism....boy o boy I can go on for days, but instead I'm just going to vent. Why hate me because you aren't me? Why hate me because I'm different? Why does the color of my skin bother you so bad, when I have the same blood in my veins, the same organs in my body, the same teeth, the same HEART as you do? Why hate me? I bet if you ask a racist, why are they racist...they won't be able to come up with one reason that makes sense.

Why can't others get to know a person before assuming or making a stereotype. People, mostly whites,  spent years killing off our kind, killing off those of color, even killing their own because they didn't share the same religion, and here we are, as blacks, doing the same. Maybe not so much physically, but mentally we are. We hate each other. We look at another black and analyze their lifestyles. "what are you wearing, why you got your hair like that, what are YOU lookin at"? Its always drama, we always killing each other for no reason. Mad at each other for no reason. Don't you ignorant people know white people wanted us to be this way? Why do you think they turned us against each other even during slavery, a time when we were supposed to come together. Now that time has progressed, we haven't become more unified, we're more separated than ever. We have few black owned businesses, we would rather shop in the "white side" of town, we can't come together for nothing without a fight or shootout....is this really what we have become?

LOVE

we sit next to it and hold its hand
such a familiar place
so hard to understand.
we look to it for comfort
yet we shield from its demands
we allow it to change us
we take it granted
we allow it to control us
our hearts hold the damage
we continue to pursue it
unbeknowest to its end
we never work to renew it
yet we try it over again
it brings a heavy load
but allows you to feel light
it can heal the soul
it can hinder your life
we use and abuse it
the turn around and hate it
we use it as an excuse
as to why we keep on waiting
i wonder where we'd be
without the heart and mind
i wonder whats to key
to making it survive
how can the best thing in life
cause you so much pain
how cant it bring you down
but also save you from the rain
God's gift to us
is also a heavenly curse
it causes us to work
it causes us to thirst
it causes us to hate
it causes us shade
it causes us joy
when you look outside the pain
its a precious thing
that few can even define
its hidden behind the heart
concealed within the mind
but...with the good and the bad
we keep on chasing
what usually makes us sad
we love to love
to love to be loved
we fight for it
we cherish it
overall....we are IT

My First Post: Christmas

Hello world. This is my first post of many on my "WEEKLY THOUGHTS" blog. I hope you all enjoy my many thoughts and expressions, for I already know many people feel the same way I do and many people oppose. But who cares, right? Not everyone will always agree with you, but IF you disagree, do so in an adult manner. Respect my thoughts and opinions and I will do the same =).

Now, my first thought will be about the concept, yes concept, of Christmas. I hate the fact that no one researches anything anymore. We all are such followers. Just because one person says its true, to many, it becomes true. What happened to finding knowledge on our own? Anyway. I do, indeed, celebrate Christmas, but only because it was instilled in me as a child and my family celebrates it; however, when I finally have a family of my own (i'm 21 and still live with my grandmother lol), I don't believe I will celebrate it as many Americans do. I despise the whole "buy me a gift and I'll give you one" bull. I think too many people are giving only to recieve. Rarely are people giving out of the kindness of their hearts.

This year, I felt bad because I really did not have the money to get all my family members gifts who usually always give me gifts. I realized then, that my concept of Christmas is wrong. It should be about recieving NOR giving. "Jesus is the reason for the season", so why aren't we giving to HIM instead of these earthly beings? I didn't care to get anything this year, but at the same time, I'm so used to recieving (along with giving, of course) on this day, that if I were not to recieve a present I may have not felt as great as I let on to myself to believe. I feel that Christmas isnt "Christ" mas anymore. It's more like "Our"mas lol. People don't even think about Jesus that much on this day, they think about themselves and others. Not that it's bad to give, I just believe we all are beginning to give for the wrong reasons.

NOW, another part of Christmas that irks me....It is NOT Christ's birthday! Now of course the day is used to CELEBRATE his birth, but it is not the day he was born. Since and research has proven that. Jesus was born in the spring, according to research. We all have been led to believe this with our Nativity story plays and whatnot. But, deep down, I believe we know we have no proof in December 25th being his birthday. This also leads me to my immense dislike for Christmas. Its all for the WRONG reasons. Now Christmas is used as a season for retailers of America to make the most money they can possibly make in a given time period. When i finally have my own family, I won't adorn trees, nor will I lead my kids to believe in a fat guy coming down my chiminey (isn't that breaking and entering? lol) to leave presents that in reality I worked hard to buy. I want the credit. lol. But when I have my family, everyone will get one present, we will lay around on Christmas day and recite why we love Christ and what he has contributed to our lives. The day is about HIM, not us.

But besides my blatant dislike for Christmas, the holidays are still a great time period to be around those you love, so HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU NONETHELESS =)